For the great majority of my life, I haven’t given the term “narcissism” much thought. The condition simply didn’t cross my radar. Certainly, I have known a number of people who possessed large, overinflated egos, but it wasn’t until I started following the 2016 presidential race that I began to grasp the true and frightening meaning of narcissistic personality disorder.

According to both the Cleveland and Mayo clinics, narcissists exhibit many or all of the following (and other) characteristics:

■An unreasonably high sense of self-importance.

■An expectation of special favors and that their wishes will always be granted.

■A preoccupation with fantasies of power, success, or the perfect mate.

■Taking advantage of others for selfish reasons.

■Not returning kindnesses that others show to them.

■Becoming angry when they do not receive special treatment or recognition.

As I look over this list, I think of Peter, a pal of mine. First, let it be known that I do not go around attempting to analyze my friends, never mind attaching labels to their personalities. I try to look for the best in my buddies and to enjoy each relationship for what it is, for how it makes me feel.

But, dear reader, I assume that each of us, from time to time, is a bit surprised, confused, or even upset by the behavior of those close to us. I must say that Pete and I get along well. Since meeting him more than four years ago, I truly believe we have developed a strong bond, the kind of relationship that requires few words or explanations but, rather, relies exclusively on acts of kindness and an intuitive sense of trust.

But does Pete return my kindness? This is one of several questions I have been mulling as of late. On the one hand, he never says “thank you” and, in fact, never uses any words to express his gratitude. I often feel unrecognized and even unimportant in his eyes. This makes me feel, at times, that we have a one-way relationship: I give, he takes. This is one key indicator of narcissistic behavior.

Similarly, Peter can become quite upset when his needs are not met. At times he simply expects too much from me, without regard for my time or feelings. Like a true narcissist, his needs take precedence over mine, period. Also, my friend never, absolutely never returns any of my calls. When I do have a chance to speak with him, he offers no explanation for his rude behavior. He acts as if nothing happened.

Whenever I have these feelings, however, my immediate thought is that I may be projecting unresolved issues of my own onto Peter. Perhaps I am the selfish, needy one in our relationship, dissatisfied with the degree of attention he gives me. As we all know, relationships are fragile and complex. And the more important the relationship, the more fragile and complex it can become.

I try my best to keep this in mind as I ask myself again, is my buddy a narcissist? Does he expect special favors and take advantage of me? Does he possess an unreasonable high sense of self-importance?

There is no question that Pete is quite a character: somewhat unknowable, aloof, independent, and self-reliant. Yes, he makes his needs known, but I must admit that he is quickly, easily, and unceremoniously appeased. He gets what he wants but doesn’t make a big deal out of it.

Putting my thoughts down in words has given me time to process my question and concern regarding my pal. It has allowed me to see more clearly and to come to the conclusion that Peter is not a narcissist. This is a realization that should come as no surprise to me. First of all, how could I have maintained a meaningful relationship with a friend who thought solely about himself? I would have ended our association years ago.

Also, how could I ignore the fact that Pete jumps onto my lap every evening, snuggling up on my chest as I stroke his soft, white fur? Yes, in part, he is looking for attention. But he is also demonstrating, as best he can, how much he loves, trusts, and appreciates me.

No, my pal Pete is no narcissist.

Gene Stamell lives in Leverett. His Siamese cat’s name is actually Pepe. His name was changed to protect his privacy. Gene can be reached at gstamell@gmail.com.