Today I ask a critical question that impacts the lives of so many people — both here and around our world. My question is “What is it to feel safe, and how do we get and stay there?” I have no easy answer nor any platitudes to offer, but especially now, post-election, this question has given me much to contemplate. I have ruminated on this a great deal over the past several years, primarily because I and so many others feel increasingly unsafe on many levels.

Sometimes a word is determined and defined by its opposite. So, I’ll begin there: why do I feel unsafe? As a white, educated, middle-class Jewish male from the heart of New York City, I have personally felt and witnessed at close hand the attacks on several of these identities and peer groups. These attack modes sometimes come with words (many unprintable), sometimes through actions and behaviors (many reprehensible), and, at other moments, they are deeply embedded in others’ attitudes and thoughts. And since I, as a member of several so-called “dominant” identity groups am experiencing this, I can imagine that feeling unsafe is multiplied exponentially for others holding “minority” labels.

It has been said that none of us are safe until we are all safe. In so many ways my training, work, career, and volunteer projects have been focused on building heartful and safe communities; this is a never-ending endeavor. The creation and maintenance of safety is a daily task requiring diligence, vigilance, and constant attention. Being safe does not beget itself: we humans hold full responsibility and accountability to build safety and to be sure it is sustainable.

Without safety, what and who are we? How can we grow and even thrive as we strive to reach our personal and collective goals if we feel unsafe? Fortunately enough, human beings are incredibly resilient, and this quality has enabled our species to continue despite wars in all their iterations, as well as prejudice, all forms of oppression, and the daily harm-doing that exists in every community every day. This goes well beyond political party affiliation and choice of candidates in this past and every election.

Safety, at least for me, is about feeling protected to be able to explore and express one’s non-violent feelings and convictions without fear of retribution, punishment, or isolation. Safety allows me to share my uniqueness and authenticity without worrying about reprisal or egregious reactivity. I welcome disagreement. Indeed, for me, conflict is a terrible thing to waste. I see conflict as an incredible opportunity for growth, connection, and peace-making.

Safety means no harm will be done to me and others — we are all in this one life together, and our commonalities are far greater and more meaningful than our differences. Feeling safe enables me to love, care for, and befriend whomever I want, and to know that this will be universally honored. Safety says “we have each other’s backs,” and follows that up with supportive actions and words.

When anyone feels unsafe, a myriad of emotions come into play: fear, anxiety, feeling shut-down or needing to act out, along with feelings of failure, helplessness, anger, and hopelessness, to name but a few. It’s hard, if not impossible, to make the progress in our lives that we wish and work for if we are feeling threatened and intimidated by others who perceive themselves to hold power and control. We are all the weaker and smaller when there is a breakdown of our personal and collective safety nets, if we even have them.

As such, the issue of safety governs nearly all aspects of our lives: physical, emotional, social, economic, intellectual, spiritual/faith-based, values and convictions, and nearly all identities such as race, ethnicity, gender/sexual preference — and the list goes on. Safety is a fundamental component on the very first floor of U.S.-American psychologist Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs.” He thought — and here I agree — that the need for safety is both primary and essential to the human condition and a universal necessity. Safety is a basic human right.

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I consult and serve as a trainer with a national organization called “Training Active Bystanders” (TAB). This program focuses on teaching and supporting everyday citizens to assist people who are in harm’s way by offering a safe haven through words and deeds. The work of TAB is to both minimize and prevent harassment and violent behaviors. Its primary charge is to provide safety, comfort, and some degree of protection to those who are being bullied or hurt, and that could be any of us, at any time. We are no longer safe in our neighborhoods, in our cars, airplanes, schools, and our homes. Clearly this lack of safety diminishes the quality and even the length of our lives. It doesn’t need to be that way. Each of us has the opportunity to help to make a difference.

Daniel Cantor Yalowitz writes a regular column in the Recorder. A developmental and intercultural psychologist, he has facilitated change in many organizations and communities around the world. His two most recent books are “Journeying with Your Archetypes” and “Reflections on the Nature of Friendship.” Reach out to him at danielcyalowitz@gmail.com.